Self: Let’s Be Friends, Okay?


The point is not to try to change ourselves… It’s about befriending who we already are. – Pema Chodron

Four weeks ago, we had a baby boy, Bodhi. He’s a real honey.

When I had a coffee meeting cancel last minute this week, I decided I still needed some time out of the house. I had someone to watch Bodhi, so why not have a few minutes of “me time”?

The second I walked out the front door, it started…

“Why do I think I deserve time to myself? I should really be staying at home with my newborn. How can I be so selfish?!”

I can be a real jerk to me. This time, it was about parenting, but it could be anything.

I ended up chatting with a woman sitting next to me at the coffee shop. Although her baby was now 21, she remembered the early days vividly.

Before she left she said, “Sitting right here, having a coffee, is exactly what you should be doing. It’s so important to give yourself breaks.”

Breaks. Right. I created Mindfresh as a way to take mindful breaks from our work throughout the day so we can come back to it, better.

When I went to get my bill, the server told me the woman had paid for my coffee.

It’s said that if we want to develop kindness, first we have to show it to ourselves. We have to learn to be our own friend.

We can start a practice of trying to catch the inner monologue when it starts throwing punches. Then, we imagine what we might say to a friend in this situation. Or maybe a total stranger in a coffee shop.

Giving myself a break,
Jen